Sonic CD

Good old SEGA. Remember when they used to make consoles? Yeah, that was awesome. Except that most of their consoles were add-ons to the Genesis, making the poor Genesis look like some kind of weird demon UFO. Also, sometimes the add-ons didn’t work. And I guess they could’ve just released a new system altogether. Look, the point is that I really liked the Genesis, okay?

I LOVED YOU.

In case you somehow forgot this-- and trust me, I don’t blame you-- there was once a time when Mario and Sonic actually had a rivalry. Whose games were better? Sonic, the super cool blue hedgehog or Mario, who I don’t have anything awesome to say about because Sonic pretty much won this competition for me. Although nowadays, I guess you could say that Mario wins.

Except here. Are you kidding, Mario? Go eat some pasta.

Anyway, back when Sonic wasn’t falling in love with human females and his entourage of furry creature pals were in the single digits, SEGA released a super awesome game for a peripheral to the Genesis, SEGA CD. This game was of course Sonic CD, and let me tell you, it is a pretty badass game, if I do say so myself (which I do). Just so you know how awesome this game is, this game introduced the character Metal Sonic AND was written by Sonic’s creator, Naoto Ōshima. Yeah, I know what you’re (not) thinking: Didn’t Yuji Naka create Sonic? Well... yeah but also... no, not really. Ōshima, the lovable rapscallion that he is, created the character designs for both Sonic and Dr. Robotnik. If for some reason you don’t believe me, then try replaying Sonic the Hedgehog for Genesis. The Designer is BigIsland, which is a literal translation of his name, Ōshima. So... yeah, take that!

Yeah, okay. You didn’t come here to read about developers and all that jazz. You want to know about the game. So let’s talk story! What’s Sonic CD about?

Well, if you guessed that Sonic is trying to stop Robotnik from taking over the world, then congrats, you officially can figure out the premise to every Sonic game. The difference between this game and the other Sonic games at the time-- you know, besides being on SEGA CD-- is that the world in the game happens to be Little Planet and Sonic time travels.

No big whoop, am I right?

So what happens is pretty simple. Sonic’s just running around, presumably being awesome, when he happens upon Never Lake, which is where the miniature planet, Little Planet, shows up every year for exactly one month. I know this because I read the manual, the game doesn’t actually explain this. Anyway, Sonic sees that Little Planet is chained to the ground, figures it’s Robotnik’s doing, and decides he’s going to go kick some Robotnik butt before dinner time. So he runs up a chain and enters the planet and then continues to be epic for the remainder of the game. The game explains this in what is possibly the most awesome opening animatic to ever be an opening animatic.

WATCH THIS RIGHT NOW

You might’ve noticed that the music is too cool for words/cheesy. So we might as well talk about the music for this game right now.

Sega of America does this... thing with their version where they get Spencer Nielson and David Young to create soundtracks for the game. I’m not particularly sure why they do this-- it could be copyright issues or something. But the opening song and the overall theme, Sonic Boom, is the same in both the American and the Japan/Europe versions. The Japanese/European versions sampled from artists like Hall and Oates and Bob Marley, which is why I’m guessing that there were copyright issues with the songs. For each level there are three themes, and the only ones that were not changed were the past themes. But no matter what version you play, all the songs are amazing. Did you think they wouldn’t be? SEGA had a knack for making perfect music for the Sonic series. I’d put links to the music up, but that would take forever. Plus there’s 21 tracks, 14 of which have two versions, plus the tracks for other menus, boss battles, and so on... I mean it would take forever. But go ahead and look it up.

Alright, alright. Jeez, you're so hasty, you guys.

Standard Sonic rules as far as levels and zones apply here. Well, I guess if you played the original four on Genesis, you might be wondering what zones are and wonder where the acts went, but don’t worry, they’re the same thing. There are seven levels, each with three zones, where the last zone is a boss battle with the ever orb-shaped evil genius, Dr. Robotnik. Sonic spindashes with down + A, and he jumps with A, or any other button you pressed (unless you were playing the PC version of the game, in which case it’s whatever button you made into the jump button). It actually is toned down in this game, because you have to wait for the screen to slide to the left before you let go of down + A and you can’t rev up the Spindash in this game. No worries, though! If you press up + A, you get the Super Peel-Out instead, which is one of Sonic’s most recognizable feats despite the fact that the Super Peel-Out was never repeated in any other popular game (just Sonic Chaos, Triple Trouble, and Sonic Blast, all of which aren’t nearly as popular as the original quartet)... until Sonic appeared in Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and even THEN it’s just a taunt.

The Peel-Out is faster than the Spindash. Just sayin'.

I know what you’re thinking. There was time travel in this game, right? Oh yeah. There totally is.

So the level pictured above is called Collision Chaos, the second level in the game (the first level of every Sonic game is always a Green Hill-esque level; in this game it’s based on a tropical island and is called Palmtree Panic). See the lives at the bottom at the screen? That lets you know that you’re in the present. But it looks like every Sonic game, right? That’s because you haven’t run into one of the special signposts.

See it? That thing that says “Past”? That’s how you travel through time. Also, there’s one that says “Future”, because time travel works both ways. It would be pretty awesome if, just by touching the sign you travelled through time, but that would be too easy. You have to run really fast for a while (without getting hit) until Sonic presumably breaks time itself and goes flying through time to the past (or future).

'Scuse me, just breaking time and being awesome. BBL - Sonic

So let’s say you were headed to the past, because you’re awesome and I like the past. Then you’ll see a landscape completely altered from the present. If only I had a picture of it...

Well what do you know.

Okay, okay, but what if you went to the future? I bet I don’t have a picture of that!

This is why you shouldn't bet money on things.

“This is all cool and whatnot,” you say, nodding your head in approval. “but why do I care about getting to the past or the future? I mean, yeah, time travel is awesome, but why are we doing it?” Obviously, because it’s awesome. Also, if you don’t, then you might end up fighting Robotnik in a place that looks like this:

Man, that sky is polluted.

Instead of somewhere that looks like this:

WELL WHAT IS THIS NOW

Of course, it’s up to you if you want every level to be a polluted stinking hellhole, you anti-environmental, garbage dumping, evil, terrible, awful... you! But you’re playing as Sonic, and he loves the environment and also if you want to actually beat the game you’re gonna have to do this, so I guess it kind of sucks if you really like the dystopian apocalyptic future that you get just by running straight through the levels. Or I guess you could just get all the time stones.

Probably should have mentioned that before.

So if you’re in the mood for adventure-- or you hate the past with the vehemence that rivals the burning of a thousand red giants-- then I guess you could try to get all the time stones, which are the chaos emeralds if you took out the word “chaos” and replaced it with “time”. A la Sonic 1, collect 50 rings and then try not to get hit until you reach the end of the level, where a giant ring will be waiting for you. Once you enter, you’re in the Special Stage.

In the special stage, you fight off UFOs-- no, don’t ask why, I couldn’t tell you why-- until all of them are gone, and then you get a Time Stone. Also you’re timed. Good luck! It’s not really all that hard, but you can’t play the Time Attack version of this level until you beat all the other levels (in Time Attack Mode) under a certain time limit.

If you’re super cool and also in the mood for adventure, you can try getting all the good futures, and trust me, it is a dickens of an achievement to do so. So much so that I had to use the word “dickens”. Here’s the how-to on becoming an awesome Sonic CD player:

1) Go to the past.

2) Find Robotnik’s mechanizing machine, AKA the UFO looking thing.

3) Destroy it.

4) ???

5) PROFIT

In every level, the first two zones have these machines in them that create badniks (but not while you’re watching) from flower seeds. They look something like...

Except, you know, not 3D.

Destroying them gets rid of every badnik in the zone-- past, present and future-- so... you know, get on that. More importantly, if you destroy each of these in every level, you will always get the good future and you will get a good ending to the game. But of course this is like the hardest thing to do.

BUT IF YOU’RE SO COOL YOU DON’T EVEN CONSIDER THIS A CHALLENGE and you’re in the mood for adventure, then why not try to destroy all of the Metal Sonic holograms? They’re all in the past, they’re hidden throughout the first two zones of every level (except Metallic Madness, the last level) and if you happen to destroy them all, the game will give you a bonus.

But c'mon. You'd stop Metal Sonic from crushing a poor Flicky, wouldn't you?

I guess there’s only one other thing to talk about. Metal Sonic.

No, not that one.

Yeah, so... about Metal Sonic. He’s introduced, along with one Amy Rose, in this game as the character who shows up, kidnaps Amy, and then totally vammooses for three more levels, because he’s just that awesome. He’s the boss battle for the fifth level, Stardust Speedway, and despite the fact that this game is old and there are plenty of racing games that are faster than this race, this race just FEELS fast. Maybe it’s the fact that Robotnik is destroying the ground behind you. Maybe it’s the fact that Metal Sonic can blast his way through spikes. Maybe it’s just the feel of Stardust Speedway. Sonic Generations has a Stardust Speedway level that can’t hold a candle to this, the original is just... way, way better. Metal Sonic really is an awesome enemy, and your first (and last) battle with this version of Metal Sonic is pretty intense.

Metal Sonic would’ve disappeared into obscurity had it not been for Sonic Heroes. He appeared in a bunch of games that are pretty inconsequential as far as like... boss battles and what not are concerned, like Sonic R (he drove a car) or Sonic the Fighters (I believe he’s the last match you have to do, but he’s not really a boss battle). His major comeback in Sonic Heroes probably fueled his return in Sonic Rivals, but now I’m rambling. Suffice it to say that a lot of awesome things came out of Sonic CD and Metal Sonic nearly tops the list.

So there’s Sonic CD for you. Dunno why you’re still reading this when you could be out getting Sonic Gems Collection so you can play it. It’s awesome! And since I know you just couldn’t get enough of Metal Sonic in this review, I think I’ll have to mention one of his other forms for my next review... let’s make it... Knuckles Chaotix, where we go head to head with the famous Metal Sonic Kai!